Children hide poverty to protect parents

Another worrying headline and supported by research.

"CHILDREN from poor families deny their own needs to protect their parents from blame and social stigma, a new study has shown. They claim not to like joining a sports team or going on a school excursion, which they know their families can't afford." SMH 8.8.12

We seem to go from one report saying children have no comprehension of the costs involved in running a household versus the income coming in to this, the direct opposite. I wonder if this is the situation with just the poorest in our community or wether it is a perception that children have regardless. 



I was lucky when I was growing up to have a family business that provided all the essentials and opportunities I needed, wants we're a different matter but this had much more to do with 'character building' than disposable income. There were times I do remember asking for something and was told I would have to wait as there was no excess funds for luxuries (like a new dress) as everything was tied up in the business at that moment, and yes I did understand what that meant. I can't remember asking for a lot, just a horse and a piano, neither we're forthcoming. I started work at 14 after school and weekends so I could have independence (I lied about my age - you could do that then).

My ex-husbands family were totally different. They were always brought up to think their parents had nothing. I know when his parents were first married they really did have to struggle, their first house was the original 'fixerupper' it had actually been condemned and my father-in-law renovated it from materials he found at the dump. There is seven years between John and his brother and one Christmas when John was 8 and his brother was 15 his brother was told he was a big boy now so he didn't need Christmas presents. 
His brother came to the assumption that his Parents couldn't afford gifts for him so on Christmas Day John was the only one to receive gifts. The week after Christmas John's father took delivery of a brand new car; Johns brother never forgave his father. This charade continued for the rest of John's fathers life, I have no idea why.

When my children were young (and even now to a degree) when they want something and the answer is I can't afford it or not at the moment they have this attitude that I am lying. Maybe they have also heard the story about their Father's brother and figure it's the same. 

I think it is a good thing for children to be involved in the family finances to a certain extent so they feel free to communicate. Misunderstandings and assumptions can cause a lifetime of hurt even when you are trying to protect            them from the worry of adult responsibility.