Wednesday, 6 June 2012


Mistakes, I’ve made a few!

Actually a lot!

Being a career girl with a good job, my own apartment, more clothes than wardrobe space; at 27 I thought the next step would be to find someone to share it with. Along came John, we were married when I was 28, and the rest is History. I had grown up in a home that was always clean and tidy and a Father who was anal retentive (stupid me thought this was normal male behaviour) so it came as a shock to find someone who didn’t respect and look after their environment and possessions. 

It was relatively easy to keep a clean home when there was only the two of us in a two bed room apartment. I fell pregnant at 29 much to my surprise while we were in between properties and living with my Mother; my stepdaughter was 15 at the time so when daughter one was born there was one baby and 4 adults (I use the term loosely) to care for her. Our business was in full swing by this time so I was working right up until she was born, came home from hospital and started on the business bookwork that afternoon. No breast milk meant bottles which I thought could have been a god sends as anyone could feed her, big fat wrong. What I didn’t realise was the amount of time preparation and general care for a new baby was going to take (I timed it – 8hours per day in preparing bottles, formula, bathing etc. a day’s work by its self) plus I had a baby that slept 8hours in every 24 unfortunately not in one go). I was still working full time even though I was blessed to be able to have my baby with me and my family for support, without this I could not have done it. I still had the need to have a totally organised, clean and tidy home and when we moved into our next home (that also needed renovation) I thought I could still keep it all ‘perfect’. John was happy to look after the outside and share in the pickup – drop off to day care but basically my day started at 5.30am and I rarely stopped till after 8.30pm Monday to Friday, Saturday cleaning started at 6am and seemed to take up most of the day, Sunday was ironing and shopping. I then fell pregnant with my second child (planned) as being an only child myself this was not an option for me. I worked a full day 10th December 1992 and my baby was born 9.30am 11th December; I had 19 for Christmas lunch that year and went back to work on the 11th January with baby in tow.

This was my life and my children suffered because of it. Mummy was always busy and I didn’t have enough time for the fun stuff as often as I should off. It was right at the time when we were all supposed to be ‘super mums’ and I was not going to be the exception. I thought at one stage I might get a cleaner to help out but when they came and quoted I thought I could do other things with the money so I decided against it. My cooking suffered as looked for short cuts and would make packet cakes, buy frozen veggies and jars of prepared sauces to make life easy and quick. We also were eating more takeaway than ever before as work was getting increasingly longer, the girls had started dancing and brownies and of course I felt I had to be involved in these things as well. The weekends seemed to be a juggle between my normal routine and the kid’s activities with little time for enjoyment. I kept hearing about other families going on picnics or the beach on a regular basis and could never work out how they had the time.

If I had of sat down and thought about it I would have realised if I had of planned our family’s meals better, stopped buying the pre prepared stuff from the supermarket and reduced the takeaways this would have more than paid for a weekly cleaner giving me the time to spend with my girls as they were growing up.

I often think of that song ‘Cats in the Cradle’- When are you coming home – don’t know when but we’ll have fun then.

Enjoy your children when they are young for both your sakes.


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