Mistakes, I’ve made a few!
Actually a lot!
Being a career girl with a good job, my own
apartment, more clothes than wardrobe space; at 27 I thought the next step would
be to find someone to share it with. Along came John, we were married when I
was 28, and the rest is History. I had grown up in a home that was always clean
and tidy and a Father who was anal retentive (stupid me thought this was normal
male behaviour) so it came as a shock to find someone who didn’t respect and
look after their environment and possessions.
It was relatively easy to keep a clean home when there was
only the two of us in a two bed room apartment. I fell pregnant at 29 much to
my surprise while we were in between properties and living with my Mother; my
stepdaughter was 15 at the time so when daughter one was born there was one
baby and 4 adults (I use the term loosely) to care for her. Our business was in
full swing by this time so I was working right up until she was born, came home
from hospital and started on the business bookwork that afternoon. No breast
milk meant bottles which I thought could have been a god sends as anyone could
feed her, big fat wrong. What I didn’t realise was the amount of time preparation
and general care for a new baby was going to take (I timed it – 8hours per day
in preparing bottles, formula, bathing etc. a day’s work by its self) plus I
had a baby that slept 8hours in every 24 unfortunately not in one go). I was
still working full time even though I was blessed to be able to have my baby
with me and my family for support, without this I could not have done it. I
still had the need to have a totally organised, clean and tidy home and when we
moved into our next home (that also needed renovation) I thought I could still keep
it all ‘perfect’. John was happy to look after the outside and share in the
pickup – drop off to day care but basically my day started at 5.30am and I rarely
stopped till after 8.30pm Monday to Friday, Saturday cleaning started at 6am
and seemed to take up most of the day, Sunday was ironing and shopping. I then
fell pregnant with my second child (planned) as being an only child myself this
was not an option for me. I worked a full day 10th December 1992 and
my baby was born 9.30am 11th December; I had 19 for Christmas lunch
that year and went back to work on the 11th January with baby in
tow.
This was my life and my children suffered because of it.
Mummy was always busy and I didn’t have enough time for the fun stuff as often
as I should off. It was right at the time when we were all supposed to be ‘super
mums’ and I was not going to be the exception. I thought at one stage I might
get a cleaner to help out but when they came and quoted I thought I could do
other things with the money so I decided against it. My cooking suffered as
looked for short cuts and would make packet cakes, buy frozen veggies and jars
of prepared sauces to make life easy and quick. We also were eating more
takeaway than ever before as work was getting increasingly longer, the girls
had started dancing and brownies and of course I felt I had to be involved in
these things as well. The weekends seemed to be a juggle between my normal routine
and the kid’s activities with little time for enjoyment. I kept hearing about
other families going on picnics or the beach on a regular basis and could never
work out how they had the time.
If I had of sat down and thought about it I would have
realised if I had of planned our family’s meals better, stopped buying the pre prepared
stuff from the supermarket and reduced the takeaways this would have more than
paid for a weekly cleaner giving me the time to spend with my girls as they
were growing up.
I often think of that song ‘Cats in the Cradle’- When are
you coming home – don’t know when but we’ll have fun then.
Enjoy your children when they are young for both your sakes.
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